Sunset Beach. I'm standing on the beach, looking at the brilliant sunset. I can feel his presence, just behind me and a little to the right. His arms are wrapped around me. A closeness and intimacy I didn't have before.
He sees the world from my perspective. He walks with me. I turn around, and he turns with me. I want to see his face, but he won't let me. A bit of frustration. Why can't I just see you now? Wait. Be patient. Eventually, you'll see me. And you'll get to experience me, fully, forever. But for now, be patient. And yes, ask if you can see more of me. Maybe I'll tighten my hug or show you my hands or whisper a little closer. I'll always be here. I'm always with you. I'll be here, waiting for you. You don't have to yell to get my attention like you used to think. That image of the sky is my power, and this is my love. I want this kind of relationship with you, too. I love you so much.
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We live in the present. Our lives take place in the present world.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the things of the past or the things of the future. We live with regret about the past and worry about the future. But what good is it? When we feel regret or worry, we have to experience the pain of that difficult situation one more time than we need to. The truth is that the only place God can bless us is where we are, because THAT IS THE ONLY PLACE WE ARE. God has already worked in the past and he is still working in the future…but the only place we can experience his work in our lives is in the present. Life was meant to be lived in the present. As we move through life in the present world, we must live with an eternal perspective. Our lives are so short compared to the whole span of eternity. Everything we do on earth is temporary. Our relationship with Jesus is literally the ONLY THING that matters. It is literally the ONLY THING that lasts. So if Jesus is the only thing that matters, why WOULDN’T we spend our entire lives serving him and telling others the good news of the gospel?! Life is not meaningless. It’s not just about “getting through” this life. Yes, our ultimate fulfillment will be in Heaven…but God placed us here for a reason. He has kingdom work that he wants us to do, right here and now. In the Old Testament, when Moses encountered the presence of God in a burning bush, God had to tell him to take off his shoes because he was standing on holy ground. GOD HAD TO TELL HIM THAT HE WAS STANDING ON HOLY GROUND. How many times do you think we’ve missed the message that right where we are is holy ground?? You’re here. Right now, wherever you’re standing (or sitting or lying) is holy ground. Where you are right now is holy ground because GOD’S PRESENCE IS IN THE PRESENT. We were made for eternity, but we do live in the present. It’s okay to feel deep emotions in the here and now. It’s okay that this is hard. It’s okay to feel the weight of this moment. You are not guilty for feeling this way. As we move through this life, we have to learn how to be okay not being okay while looking forward to the hope of eternity with Jesus. Right here, right where you are, in the present, you can experience God. He is here and he loves you SO SO SO much. He wants you to know that he is the ONLY ONE who can love you completely. He is the ONLY ONE who can satisfy you. He is the ONLY ONE whose story matters. So love a little deeper. Laugh a little longer. Sing a little louder. Hug a little tighter. Speak words of life and love to everyone around you. And through all of it, proclaim HIS name. Let every knee bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord. To HIM be the glory forever and ever. AMEN. Jesus. His passion. His crucifixion. His death, his burial, his resurrection.
All of history has been building up to this. The crescendo of time itself. The hour was unknown, but now it has come. It is here. And soon, it will be finished. Once and for all. A walk in the garden. One last meal. Friends and fellowship sit at the table with betrayal. All the anticipation. How do they not see it? How do they not know what is coming? Father, come. Come and take this cup from me. Yet not my will, but yours be done. Your will be done. Just come. Come quickly. Hours of prayer. The restless night. And with a kiss, it begins. And it all happens so fast. The betrayal and the arrest and the trial and the condemnation. The mocking and the torture and the crown. The cross and the fall and the nails. The pain and the cries and the shouts. The wine and the staff and one last breath and then, It is finished. Just like that. The light goes out. The darkness wins. The heart is ripped out. The hope is despair. The weeping begins and it doesn’t seem to stop. The silence and the utter emptiness. And nothing will ever be the same again. No, more than that. It seems like nothing will ever happen again. The heart. Oh, the heart. The heart is not just empty. It’s not just broken. It is torn out. All that is left is an empty void. And then there was Saturday. No one really talks about Saturday. But what is there to say? Time stood still. Life was empty. All hope had completely disappeared. Not even a song to be sung. Not a note to be played. Just emptiness. Silence. As his body was brought down from the cross, they stood there in utter disbelief. They held each other as his limp corpse was bound and bandaged and sealed away. They sat together as Saturday dawned. As the red sun hung over their heads. No one spoke a word. No one had anything to say. Some cried, and some tried to but were unsuccessful As they tried to feel something, anything But realized that their very capacity to feel had gone out with their heart. Where did he go? What did he do? Is this what a life without God would be like? How long would this go on? It seemed like an eternity without him. And then, the sun arose. For the first time, light broke through the clouds. There was a sense of hope and contentment that came with the light. It was as if something had awakened within them. Like they were able to walk on for the first time. Finally, the silence was broken. At last, he returned. And when he spoke, hope returned. A promise fulfilled. An eternity restored. And joy. Oh, the wondrous joy. The joy of salvation. The joy of the resurrection. The joy of the Lord himself, back from the dead. The joy of a kingdom now and not yet. It was finished but it has only just begun. And so we feel the weight of Saturday. We sit in that pain and emptiness. We weep with those who weep and mourn with those who mourn. And on Sunday, we rejoice. We rejoice that death could not defeat him. We rejoice that our Savior is back. God has not forsaken us. He is here, he is real, and his presence shakes the whole earth. Lord, thank you for your scars. Thank you for your sacrifice. And thank you for Saturday. When you pray, how do you imagine God?
Someone asked me this question recently. I hadn't thought about that much, so it was interesting to try to explain it to someone else. My picture of God is hard to describe and it blends a few different images together, but it makes sense to me...much like a dream. When I pray, I picture the sky. In the middle of the sky, I see the soft lines of a face. I connect to the relational aspect of my faith in God when I imagine his face. In the sky, I see the vastness and power of our God. I see different colors in the sky, depending on where my heart is and what I'm praying about. Sometimes I see a night sky with stars and dark blue and purple hues. Other times, I see a sunset with vibrant pink, orange, and yellow light. Another image I've seen is a sky covered with fresh green colors, not unlike moss covering tree bark. Rain falls as I see God's heart, mourning with me in the midst of suffering. I still don't understand it all. I'm just beginning to unpack what this means, but it's cool to finally start noticing the pictures God has given me. All of us experience God in different ways, and there's no right or wrong way to see God. But maybe you're like me, and you've never really thought about what it is to imagine God. When you pray, how do you imagine God? In "Rejoice," I introduced the idea of choosing joy in the midst of suffering. Today, I want to take the next step and encourage those of us who are choosing to rejoice.
Romans 5:3 states, "...We glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." I don't know about you, but 2020 left me craving for hope (shoutout to For King & Country and their song, "Hope Is What We Crave"). I find this verse particularly encouraging because of its promise of hope. Many other translations replace "glory" with "rejoice." When we rejoice in our suffering, we learn perseverance. As we practice it, perseverance builds character. And finally, the formation of our character gives us real hope. As we walk into 2021, we can hope. But we must learn to rejoice in the suffering before we can truly experience hope. One step at a time. Today, I will rejoice. I will persevere. I will strengthen my character. And finally, I will hope. "Rejoice" is my word of the year for 2021. God gently placed this idea on my heart at the beginning of the year. This year, I am going to make it my goal to find joy in the midst of suffering.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." In a recent conversation with one of my mentors, we talked about the nature of verse 16. She asked, "How does 'rejoice always' feel to you? Does it feel like a command or a suggestion?" After some thought and discussion, we came to the conclusion that God intended this verse as a command. That brought up the question, "But what if I'm not rejoicing right now?" This is a difficult question to answer. My natural response is to feel guilty for not following one of God's commands. Yet God does not respond in the way a human would. Yes, it is a command—but he realizes how difficult it is, and he accepts us wherever we are. God wants us to come to him even when we aren't rejoicing. We don't have to feel guilty for our frustration or confusion or doubt or whatever we feel instead of joy. He wants us to bring all of ourselves to him, all the time. God wants to take the burdens we're carrying and give us strength to continue on the journey. It's okay if you're not rejoicing right now—and God wants us to bring that to him. He can only truly help us when we lay our burdens at his feet and ask him for help. Journey with me. Let's practice choosing joy in the midst of suffering. And when it's hard, when we feel like we can't take another step, let's have the courage to bring it to God. He'd love to join our journey towards joy. Join me. Let's rejoice in 2021. I've been to Downtown Disney three times since I started college...but I've never made it farther than the parking lot. (The first two times, it was too crowded. Today, I had a zoom meeting with my spiritual director/mentor while my friends were there...but it was worth it!)
My spiritual director mentioned the fact that it's interesting that Disneyland is called "the happiest place on earth." Although that's a good advertising motto, it just simply isn't true. I have a lot of happy memories from visiting Disneyland as a kid, but I remember thinking that it's never been the happiest place on earth for me. I mentioned this fact to my family when I was about 8 years old. They responded, "If it isn't Disneyland, then where is your happiest place on earth?" Home. My favorite place to be in the whole world was home. As I was reminded of this today, I noticed that my answer has changed. My home is split between two places now (Biola and my actual house). So that got me thinking—where is my happiest place on earth now? Almost immediately, the answer came to me. My happiest place on earth is right here, in the arms of my Heavenly Father, no matter where my physical body is. In this way, anywhere I am can be the happiest place on earth. Where is your happiest place on earth? “Vulnerability well received is like a hug with words.”
The Holy Spirit spoke this to my heart a few weeks ago, and it could not be more true. In a world where we are physically distant from so many people, we crave authentic emotional connection. We need to be vulnerable with our thoughts, feelings, and words—and we need people around us who will receive that vulnerability and encourage it. It’s definitely not easy to be real and open with people. But when you share the unfiltered version of yourself with someone, and they receive it well, it is so so so comforting. I have a few friends that I know I can be vulnerable with. I talked to one of those friends for 2 hours yesterday, and it was so refreshing. It almost felt like I was talking to myself because we are so similar and we are able to be so vulnerable with each other. God moves and works in mysterious ways, even through a phone call! I encourage you to find someone that you can be real and vulnerable and honest with, without fear of judgment. And if you don’t have someone like that, I’m here for you. I will listen and accept all of you—even the broken parts—and I will give you a hug with my words. I really mean that. Strive to make yourself someone that others can be vulnerable with, too. When someone shares something from their heart, thank them for it. Thank them for trusting you. Accept them in all seriousness, and don’t try to joke about it. Let them know that you love them for who they are, and that they can be their true self when they’re with you. We all need someone we can bless, and someone who can bless us. We all need someone to listen to, and someone who will listen to us. We all need someone to love, and someone who will love us. Imagine this: What would the world be like if everyone chose to receive vulnerability well? I believe that would be a taste of Heaven. Our world would be so much more real if we were able to be completely vulnerable with everyone. But we are broken people, and we will never be perfect. This side of Heaven, we’re never going to have our vulnerability received well 100% of the time. But there is one person who will always listen—and that’s Jesus. Jesus will aways receive your vulnerability well. You never have to worry about judgment from him. He will love you and accept you for who you are, exactly as you are. He will speak peace and comfort to your heart. He will hug you with his words and with his Spirit. Isn’t that incredible truth?! God is absolutely amazing. He is moving in crazy ways in my life right now. He has revealed his presence and his power to me in ways I never could have expected. Even in the midst of a global pandemic, when everything in life seems so uncertain, God is still good. Life is still good. Today is good because God is here and wherever God is, there is goodness there, too. That is absolutely incredible. Our God is crazy cool!! Words cannot describe how blessed and how thankful I am right now. I can never do justice to God’s goodness with my words—but I will try. Yesterday, today, tomorrow, and forever, I will strive to put words to God’s life-changing power. I will allow his Spirit to shine through me and to inspire others. I will speak his truth and proclaim his goodness. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable with you. Thank you for giving me friends I know I can be vulnerable with. Thank you for teaching me how to receive vulnerability well. I will continue to be blown away by you, Jesus. I love you. Let your will be done. Amen. Three weeks of college. The most fun I’ve ever had. Lots of laughter. Hours and hours of beach volleyball. Walking/running an average of 7 miles a day. Two crying episodes—one happy, and one not so happy. Nights spent wandering around campus in the dark or singing on the top of a parking garage.
I am having the time of my life—but I have also experienced some of the hardest moments ever. In the hills and valleys, in the ups and downs, one thing remains steady through it all—GOD IS WITH ME. He loves me and cares for me. He blesses me with new friends all the time. He gives me deep conversations and spiritual nourishment for my soul. He comforts me when I’m sad and lifts me up when I don’t feel like I can continue on. Life is HARD…and college is no exception. But I know that if God is there, something great can happen. And if God is there, whatever happens is great. (thanks, dad, for the quote) So go out there. Go into the world and LIVE. Live your life, content with the truth that one thing—and one thing only—remains. GOD IS WITH YOU. You don’t have to worry about what the future may hold, because he holds it all. Yesterday, today, tomorrow, and forever—GOD IS WITH YOU. If you’re online, in person, at home, at school…God is with you. If you’re thriving or barely surviving, God is with you. And he loves you more than you will ever know. Rest in that peace today, knowing that everything else will fall into place when you lean into God. JUST BREATHE. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. HE IS WITH YOU. This is not your best life...and that’s okay. It’s gonna get better. The best is yet to come.
In the meantime, shift your perspective. Try looking at the world in a different way. I think you’ll be amazed at what you might find. Look ahead. We’re living in a crazy time right now, but we don’t have to focus on that. Look to the horizon. The waves will keep crashing and the seagulls won’t stop screeching...so keep your eyes on the horizon. The horizon is unchanging. It’s a daily reminder of God’s constant presence. He can bring us rest and peace in this time. Relax. Look ahead. Keep your eyes on the horizon. Look up. Gaze at the night sky. Let the stars be a reminder of how vast and powerful our God is. And out of all the billions of stars that dot the night sky, he chose to love YOU. God, you chose to love me?! Yes, he sure did. So look up. Look up and remember that HE LOVES YOU. Look around. Take a walk in nature. Find the beautiful things God has planted all around you, and be thankful. Look at the trees and be thankful for your roots. Thank God for your family. Look at the flowers and be thankful for the blooming relationships in your life. You are blessed with friends who love you and care about you. Thank God for enriching your life with beautiful people. Look at the mountains. Remember the hardships you’ve conquered, and remember the spectacular view at the top. Be thankful for this journey we get to embark on. Face the mountain you’re climbing right now. You’ve got this. Stay hopeful...the view at the top will be worth it. Oh, so worth it. Be hopeful. Let yourself be inspired. Listen to the uplifting voices in your life. Live lightly. It’s okay to make mistakes. You are not defined by your past or your present. God is the only one who has the right to define you...and he loves you and thinks the world of you. Be thankful for what he's done in your life. If you’re grateful for someone, tell them. They need that encouragement right now. But most of all, keep your eyes on Jesus. Look ahead, look up, and look around. God is EVERYWHERE. Remember that he has a plan for your life. There are better days up ahead. Life isn’t perfect...and that’s okay! Give yourself permission to feel differently than usual right now. This is a strange time, but it won’t last forever. It’s gonna get better. I’m sure of it. |
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